


What If?

by siruru



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Coffee Shops, F/M, Gala Event, Mutual Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Questioning, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Slow Dancing, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 03:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14583654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/siruru
Summary: In which Steve Rogers finally takes a chance of his own.





	What If?

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @redgillan‘s birthday challenge. This is the first time I have written for Steve and I got a little too excited and ran with the idea i got in my head. Just to step up a timeline, first part takes place after the first Avengers and the second part some time before Winter Soldier.

After the Battle of the New York, Steve Rogers is allowed a small respite as the tower is finished being built and the rest of the city tries to find itself after all the destruction. Steve tries his hardest to find his own place within this new version of his home, of what he should be in this era and he spends a lot of time people watching -- seeing others trying to help one another, strangers helping strangers find a place to stay or missing loved ones. It gives him a sense of hope for a society that seems so closed off to him. And through the following months, Steve finds himself in a small cafe in Manhattan, because it’s closer to the Tower and he really can’t find a good coffee place in Brooklyn without getting hassled.

Blue eyes look around to watch all the people that pass by through the mid-morning rush, but one catches his attention most off all. A young woman that often sits in the back either writing on papers or hiding behind huge glasses and a thick book. However, she always pauses and talks to the older people that seem to know her so well, she smiles and laughs behind a cup of coffee -- and Steve Rogers draws her from time to time. He captivated.

“You should talk to her sometime, kid,” Stan, the owner of the shop, tells him drawing him out of glancing at you from the countertop seat he frequents, “Don’t wanna miss ya chance.”

It takes him two weeks to get the courage to talk to you. You’re reading something by a Jon Meacham and downing your last coffee, as he stands next to the empty seat across from yours.

* * *

 “H-Hi,” he tries not to let his voice shake, as you look up and your eyes grow at the sight of him, though not exactly for all the reasons he is used to, “Can I sit here?”

“S-Sure,” you voice is equally as shaky as he does,”To what do I owe the pleasure today?”

You smile and put down your book before taking another sip of coffee. It’s small talk at first as you try to ignore who Steve Rogers actually is and who he has been to you your whole life, but as you learn a little more about him on a personal level it's all water under the bridge, as you talk about the book you’re reading and what you do for a living -- a professor in a certain prestigious university.    

“So, what’s your field of expertise?” he eventually asks, and you feel your cheeks suddenly burning up.

“Ummm…well _you_ ,” you cough out in embarrassment, as he looks out you in utter confusion. Oh, it could only go downhill from here, “Well, specifically the use of Captain America imagery and propaganda post World War II and during the Red Scare.”

“I see,” is all he can say, as you sweep a hand over your messy hair due to your anxiety over taking everything else in that moment, because only you could mess up meeting Steve Rogers after months of seeing him from afar, because in all the months of stealing glance behind books and graded papers -- you saw that he wasn’t self-righteous and honorable Captain America, but sweet and kind of shy Steve Rogers that enjoyed his coffee with two sugars and lots of cream and that sometimes liked sitting next to a window to draw those huge skyscrapers or a person passing by.

**Oh god** , only you could fuck this up, and you still were. If only someone could stop you from opening your big mouth.

“You should have seen...Mr. Stark hated McCarthy using your image,” you babbled on due to nerves, as Steve covers his mouth to hide his smile, though you take it as something else,”Ran all the newspapers with any rumor he could find out about ‘im.”

Steve shakes his head, something like that clearly reminding him of the flamboyant scientist and millionaire he once knew, but it also reminded him of the cruel fact that he missed so much. His face is clean of any expression as you begin to put two and two together (and try to stop yourself from saying anything worse), but your phone does the job as it rings. You surprised to hear the Dean of the Political Science Department yelling congratulations and for a moment Steve smiles at your bright eyes and excited hand movements.

“Henry, you’re joking, **seriously**!” you cradle the phone between your shoulder and ear, and begin to gather all your papers and books, clearly not trying to glance at the specimen of a man across from you in the obvious disappointment of how your talk went -- at least in your opinion, “I’ll be there before my afternoon classes...Ok, ok, as soon as possible.”

“Big news?” he questions with a slight smile, as you nod enthusiastically.

“I got awarded something _huge_ ,” your eyes blug while talking and he can’t help but get caught in your bright facial expressions,”but, I really have to go now.”

“That’s completely fine,” Steve smiles catching some your eagerness,” and congratulations.”

“It was great meeting you. Maybe--” _we could hang out again sometime,_ but you pause and stop from embarrassing yourself any further. He doesn’t seem to catch what you were going to say, as you wave goodbye.

He watches you run out the door without another word, promising himself that he’ll turn this awkward situation around. Steve Rogers waits two weeks and there’s no sight of you, on the third he asks Stan if anything had happened to you. _Something better_ , he said like a doting grandfather. You had gone to Washington D.C on a fellowship.

Steve Rogers had missed his chance again.  

* * *

It’s another two years and Steve Rogers learn more -- he slowly learns to stop living in the past, to trust in the small family he has formed. However, he still finds himself slipping to the what-ifs of it all, particularly more recent ones. Maybe, that’s why he isn’t feeling the opening gala of the Museum of the City of New York’s _Captain America Exhibit_ \-- all of his accomplishments and failures in one place, though he still kept the professional smile along with the tailored-made suit Tony had made for the occasion. He doesn’t slip once, especially when talking to people and even when giving his speech -- all everyone ever wanted was the hero, and he played it well. Playing it safe, he stands away back from the stage after his moment, his thoughts are everywhere until the presenter starts thanking all the curators and historical professors that helped make the exhibit possible and then he hears a familiar voice.

“It is thanks to her diligent effort that we added an extra wing on Captain America’s influence after WWII,” the emcee claps, as you smile in a blue dress and stylish pair of black glasses.

You’re glowing at all your hard work and Steve smiles a little bit more than before, but he knows he can’t let this chance slip away. You blush and look away and Steve in all his single-minded stubbornness knows he needs to talk to you again. However, that is easier said and done, as both of you are pushed back and forth to be put on display but due to different things. It isn’t until well into the night that you are both pushed onto the empty dance floor -- him due to Tony and you because of your co-workers. Steve is standing in the middle of all those dimming lights, you’re completely breathless.   

“Captain Rogers,” you greet him, as he grabs you by the waist as the old song begins to play.

“Steve is just fine,” he murmurs softly, as you smile while slowly swaying to [ the song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVbfxNfNfLU). The rest of the room completely forgotten, neither of you say anything for awhile. You hum lightly, as he chuckles while rubbing some circles on the back of your dress. But, just like before you had to open your big mouth.  

“Isn’t it weird?” you ask as blue eyes turn to meet your own.

“What exactly?” he smiles, knowing where you are going with this train of thought already.

“I mean, I know everything about you _from an academic standpoint_ ,” you explain in confusion, which causes him to laugh. It’s then that Steve decides to make a what-if possible.

“Then, how about from a _personal_ one?” he asks in a pleading, hushed tone and your eyes widen like saucers.

“W-What?”

“It’s taken me a long time to adjust,” he pauses as he swings you away and back from him. A light blush on your face a he pulls you closer than before, “But, in all this time, I still miss that little shop back in Manhattan, I missed what could have been and I’m tired of the _what-ifs_.”

“What if?” you keep questioning, as he moves his hand from yours to cradle your cheek.

“...What if I had talked faster? What if I had asked for her number?” he whispers eagerly as his forehead touches yours, “What if I asked to kiss her right now?”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” you pause and let out as an afterthought, “ _after a couple of dates_.”

“You think she’s free Friday night?”

“Definitely.”

Steve lets out a hearty laugh and feels a truly warm and delightful feeling at grasping something for himself for once. It gets a little better when you decide to steal a quick peck before the night is over.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on the flip side: [writing tumblr](http://the-canary.tumblr.com/)


End file.
